Here is the continuation of the interview with Jim Taylor Ph.D.
Dr. Taylor answers a multitude of questions on a variety of topics including teen stress, academic success and successful parenting techniques. We’ve broken the interview up into sections and will be posting a few of the questions and answers every day. So, stay tuned…
Our goal is to make this blog the most helpful and informative blog on Academic Success and SAT preparation. In addition to articles and postings on test preparation, the college application process, study tips and hints, we will also post articles on parenting tips, teen issues and personal development.
Please give us your feedback and make comments to our blog!! For more information, FREE articles, resources and audio files, visit: www.howtoacethesat.com and www.academics-plus.com
Talk a little bit about things that parents do and if these things are good or bad, like paying your children for grades.
Dr. Taylor: Paying your children for grades is generally not a great idea. Using bribes can be an initial way to create some impetus for kids to work hard. But if kids connect their efforts and motivation with being paid, then that becomes an extrinsic motivation. In a way they may become hooked on it, and they will only work hard if they’re being rewarded monetarily or, in fact, even with love. Ultimately, we want kids to be motivated for the love of the learning to pursue their own goals that they have in their life.
What about gifted programs or labels we give kids?
Dr. Taylor: Clearly there are some children who are gifted who are naturally more athletically gifted or have very high IQs. But the problem is our culture has defined giftedness in a way that actually hurts kids because it tells kids who are gifted that you have a free pass, you’re guaranteed to succeed. The reality is the world is full of gifted failures. Yes, giftedness is a wonderful gift, but it’s not enough to truly succeed. I mean, sooner or later kids are going to reach a level where everybody is gifted. It might be Harvard. It might be a Division 1 athletic program. And all of a sudden everybody’s gifted, so they’re not special. What makes kids ultimately able to perform their best is have they developed the life skills necessary to use whatever gifts they have, whether very high or moderate.
How can parents help kids develop those life skills?
Dr. Taylor: They need to identify what some of those life skills are, such as hard work, discipline, perseverance, patience, and then work on rewarding those things. Often parents praise their kids when they come home with a good test or a good paper. You know, nice job, way to go. For me that’s lazy parenting and lazy rewarding, because it doesn’t really say what they’re rewarding. So parents need to reinforce hard work and good decision making in terms of, for example, choosing to stay home and work on a project rather than going out with their friends.
This article was reported by Ivanhoe.com who offers Medical Alerts by e-mail every day of the week. To subscribe, go to http://www.ivanhoe.com/newsalert/. Dr. Jim Taylor is internationally recognized for his work in the psychology of performance in business, parenting, and sport. Jim is an author of ten books, including Positive Pushing: How to Raise a Successful and Happy Child and Your Children are Under Attack: How Popular Culture is Destroying Your Kids’ Values, and How You Can Protect Them. For more information on Dr. Taylor, visit: http://www.drjimtaylor.com/
Posts
